


To Fade Your Scars

by choking_on_gold



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Derek Morgan, Bisexual Jennifer Jareau, Bisexual Spencer Reid, Eventual JJ/Emily, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Spencer/Derek, F/F, Feels, Friends to Lovers, Hurt Spencer Reid, Jemily - Freeform, Lesbian Emily Prentiss, M/M, Moreid - Freeform, Sad, Sad Jennifer “JJ” Jareau, Sad Spencer Reid, Shower feels, mlm, super powers, wlw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:00:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25340530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choking_on_gold/pseuds/choking_on_gold
Summary: Spencer started acting strange, and Derek just wants to help, little did he know how big Spencer secret actually is... Will Spencer find it in himself to trust Derek with it?Meanwhile, JJ’s going through some bumps in her relationship with Will, and she’s glad she’s got Emily there, right by her side, to comfort her.ON HIATUS
Relationships: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 33
Kudos: 65





	1. The Strange Spencer Reid

It was a desk day. _Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork_ , Derek sighed, and looks over to his teammates. JJ was smiling on the phone, presumably talking to Will and her kids. Emily was throwing a yellow bouncy ball, bouncing it from the floor, to cabinet in front of her, back to her hand. Spencer was smiling down at his files, scribbling, and reading the pages. _Dam kid... who even finds paperwork exiting???_ Derek thought to himself. All of a sudden, Spencer’s smile faded from his face, and he stared down at the papers in lfront of him, his expression somewhat terrified. Derek sat upright, concerned for his friend, when Spencer rushed it of his chair and into the bathroom. He slowly got up from his chair, trying to bring any unwanted attention to himself, and went after Spencer.

“Reid?” He asked as he walked in the quiet bathroom.“I know you’re in here, I can see you feet.” He leaned against the sinks, right in front of the stall occupied by Spencer. 

“Just... Just please leave me alone!” Came a shaky voice from behind the door in front of Morgan, and walked towards it. 

“Spencer...” He said, voice barely above a whisper. “Please talk to me...” he continued, sitting down on the floor leaning against the stall door. Silence. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, pretty boy, but please don’t shut me out!” He continued and tried to hold back tears of his own when he herd Spencer sniff behind him. 

“I- I can’t...” Spencer’s voice filled the quiet room after a moment of silence. “Not yet.” He explained.

“Ok,” Derek sighed, getting up and facing the closed door “but I’m not leaving here before you give me hug!” They chuckled, and the door he was previously leaned against opened, revealing a red-faced-Dr. Reid. He stepped out shyly, and Morgan pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. The hug felt like it went on for hours, when in reality it was no longer than 5 minutes. They separated, and Morgan presses a kiss to Reid’s forehead, leaving him the bathroom to collect his thoughts.

*********

The next few weeks were slow. Painfully slow. Spencer was quieter than normal, and Derek was worried. When the rest of the team started getting worried, Spencer decided it was time to tell someone. Coming home from a case one night, Spencer sat next to Derek in the jet ride home. 

“Y’alright pretty boy?” Derek asked, furrowing his eyebrows, and turning to Spencer. Spencer nodded ‘no’ and stayed silent for a little, as if trying to collect his thoughts, and finding the right way to phrase them. 

“C- Can I come over?” He said shyly, unable to look Morgan in the eyes. “We could watch a movie or something...” he added quickly, fiddling with his hands. 

“Of course, pretty boy! You’re just gonna have to give me a second when we land, I got an errand to run, but I’d love a movie night!” He said, grinning, and slightly bumped Reid’s arm with his elbow playfully. Spencer gave a small smile that worried Derek. 

“Is this a _movie_ , movie night, or a movie and talk, movie night?” He asked and Spencer just shrugged, that being enough to answer Derek’s question. He put his hand on Reid’s wrist as if asking for permission to hold his hand, and Spencer responded by automatically taking Morgan’s hand on his own and giving him a comforting smile.


	2. The Hot, Cold, and Strange Spencer Reid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it really a movie night without pizza? Or a big secret being revealed for that matter?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, so, really quick, I just wanna say that this chapter is a bit longer then the last one, like, it’s nearly double the amount of words... woops :/ but I hope you like like it! :)

The ride home was quiet. But comforting. Reid and Morgan held hands below the table on the jet, and stayed in silence. They landed fairly quickly, and Rossi and Emily went straight home, not even bothering to pass by the bullpen. JJ and Morgan went in together talking about the new soccer game Henry’s school had one, and how proud they were of him. Hotch and Reid went in together in silence, each too wrapped in their thoughts to even notice they were walking side by side. Hotch went straight to his office, probably to finish the case’s paperwork which he’d been working on the plane, and Derek spent no more then 2 minutes grabbing something from his desk and telling Reid that he’d text him as soon as he was back home. He was met with a nod from Spencer and small “good night” from JJ. 

“Everything alright Spence?” She asked upon noticing him stare at Derek with a frown, while he walked away.

“Huh?” He jerked his head to face her, getting caught off guard. “No, yeah, it’s nothing...” he shrugged off, but she didn’t buy it. 

“C’mon, Spence! You think we don’t notice you acting all strange and quiet? And a movie night? With _Derek?_ ” She pressed. She was right. Sure Spencer and Derek hung out all the time, but not right after cases, when they were both tired. And specially not when Spencer was having a bad day, or a bad week.  
“I just wanna talk to him about something, that’s all.” He sat down in his desk across from her, and she leaned forward on her chair, holding herself up with her elbows on her knees. 

“Like the kind of something that’s personal between two people?” She kept pressing. Spencer could tell she was just worried, but it didn’t make it any easier that he couldn’t didn’t want to talk about it. “Or the kind of something involving the case?” She gave him another option, and he took the out.

“Yeah it’s just... I kinda feel weird with the way the detective dismissed the unsub, but it’s probably nothing...” He lied, and she could tell. If Spencer was going through the effort to lie— to JJ non the less— then he really didn’t want to talk about it. He sighed when she stopped pressing, and gave him a small smile instead, turning to her paperwork.

“You’re gonna stay here?” He asked furrowing his eyebrows.

“Yeah, it’s easier for me to concentrate here then at home, and Will and the boys are already asleep by now, so...” she said checking her watch. He whispered ‘ok’ to her and started gathering his thing to leave, waving her goodbye as he walked into the elevator, receiving a goodbye wave back.

*********

As he walked towards his car his phone buzzed, and he removed it from his back pocket to check.

 **New text from: Derek**

__

_**Derek:** Pretty Boy! I'm almost home, grab a pizza on your way over![11:23 pm]_

__

_**Derek:** Actually, I haven't eaten in hours, so grab 2 just in case ;) [11:23 pm]_

__

_**Derek:** Oh! And don't forget the bacon! Pizza ain't pizza without bacon![11:23 pm]_

__

_**Me:** Ok :) [11:23 pm]_

__

_**Derek:** Pretty boy! Just got home, text me when you get here! [11:25 pm]_

__

_**Me:** Ok, on my way! [11:25 pm]_

Spencer got in his car, and drove to the nearest pizzeria, ordering them 2 bacon pizzas. With the pizzas in the passenger seat, Reid made his way to Derek’s house. He knocked on the door and grabbed his phone to warn Derek that he’s outside.

__

_**Me:** I’m outside :) [11:43 pm]_

__

_**Derek:** Gimme a second, I'll be right there! [11:43 pm]_

Derek opened the door in grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt, and let Spencer in. 

____

“What took you so long, pretty boy?” He asked locking the door behind him and guiding Spencer to the living room. 

____

“There a was line...” he explain settling the two boxes of pizza on the coffee table between the couch and TV. 

____

“Gotcha!” Morgan nodded “so, you got anything in mind you wanna watch? If not, I got some old CDs, we could just pick something from there.” Morgan offered, as Spencer sat on the floor behind the small table with the stack of pizzas and faced the TV. 

____

“Umm... yeah, a CD would be great!” Spencer gave a smile in hopes of reassuring Derek, but it didn’t really work. 

____

“Ok!” Morgan sighed, and sat down, facing Spencer. “You’re not here to watch a movie, are you?” He asked, tilting his head when Reid looked away. He didn’t respond, and Morgan waited patiently, grabbing a slice of pizza, and munching on it until Spencer was finally ready to tell him what’s wrong. 

____

“It’s been going on for a while now...” He said after a long period of silence, looking down at the floor in shame, his voice barely above a whisper. 

____

“What has, Reid?” Derek asked, setting down is 4th slice of pizza on the corner of the box, and Reid didn’t answer. Instead, he grabbed a slice for himself as if giving an excuse not to talk. “Listen, Spencer, whatever it is, I’m here for you, you know that, right?” Derek placed a hand on his knee, and Spencer nodded. 

____

“It’s just... I don’t know what to do! It won’t go away, and I feel like such a weirdo! _A freak!_ ” He said, getting frustrated, but a hint of fear hid in his voice. His tone shaky, like if he was about to cry, and Derek moved his hand up and down Spencer’s thigh, trying to comfort him.

“Hey don’t say that! Why do feel like a weirdo Spence?” He protested, shaking his head, a soft, concerned tone present in his voice. _Spence. Spence? Morgan never calls me Spence... why would he call me Spence now? Does he already know??? How would he know? Why wouldn’t he say anything if he already knew? Does he hate me? Is he scared of me? What if he leaves? I really don’t want him to leave..._ A tight grip on his knee snapped Reid out of his thoughts. “Reid? What’s going through your mind right now, pretty boy? What’s got you so quiet?” Morgan asked him.

____

“I-” Spencer struggled with his words. “I’m not sure how to explain this to you...” he said as he lowered his voice, barely audible once again.

____

“What if you just show me...?” Derek suggested, and dragged his hand off Reid’s knee, placing his palm flat on the ground, holding himself up. Spencer sighed nervously, but nodded in agreement. He took a deep breath to calm himself down, and grabbed his cup of water that was set next to the pizza boxes. 

____

Derek watched closely, unsure of what Spencer was about to do, and flickered his eyes between Spencer’s and the cup present on his hand. The water started freezing rapidly turning to ice almost instantly, and Spencer looked at Derek with a terrified look in his eyes. Derek just stared in awe, as the water returned to its liquid state, and soon enough was boiling, the glass tuning steamy, and Spencer’s hands turning a light shade of red. The vapor started disappearing along with the bubbles, and as fast as the water was burning, it was back to room temperature. Spencer set the cup back on the table and looked at Derek with pleading eyes. He was terrified for his friend’s reaction, and hoped he wasn’t scared of Spencer. Derek’s silence drove Spencer crazy!

____

“Please say something.” He begged. No response.

____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it to the end of this chapter, thank you so much for reading!!! On a side note, I kinda felt season 2 Caitlin/Killer Frost vibes from Spencer while I was proofreading... like when Caitlin was scared of turning into Killer Frost, except that Spencer’s powers aren’t a whole different person, but still... :/ whoops...  
> Please tell me what _you_ thought of it though! Tell me what you liked and didn’t like, it’ll really help me get better at writing (which I feel like I **_desperately_** need) so if y’all wouldn’t mind, constructive criticism is 100% welcome (just don’t be rude, cuz I _will_ cry) :) **♡**


	3. The Teary-Eyed Jennifer Jareau

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Emily tries to hide her feelings, JJ makes it even harder by showing up to her house in the middle of the night...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just a bit shorter than the last one, but it’s still over 1k words... enjoy! ★✧*･ﾟ~ (◠‿◠✿)

It was a desk day. Emily looked around and noticed the only person actually working was Spencer, so she did what any adult does in a moment of boredom, and grabbed a yellow bouncy ball from the bottom of drawer. She started bouncing it towards the floor and it bounced back to her hand after hitting the cabinet in front of her. _Thank you Penelope Garcia!_ A laughter from the desk next to her caused Emily to look up. She noticed a smiling JJ talking on the phone, and couldn’t help a smile of her own. Her smile quickly faded as she realized the other woman was probably smiling at her partner. _Who is not me._ Her thoughts were interrupted shortly after by a suspicious rise-and-run by their resident genius, wondering off to the bathroom in a hurry. She furrowed her brow, but her attention got snatched away again by the blonde sitting beside her, on her own desk. _The pretty, smiling, gorgeous, all-in-all happy,_ blonde sitting beside her, on her own desk. But once again her smile faded at the thought of Will, and she tried to ignore the knot twisting in her stomach, focusing on her yellow bouncy ball instead. 

*********

She noticed JJ’s concern growing everyday, and to be fair, she was concerned too. Spencer has been quiet. And not like the good, focused type of quiet. No, this was a sad, shameful even, kind of quiet, and it had the whole team worried. On the plane ride home after a long case, JJ and Emily were sitting next to each other, across from Spencer and Derek. JJ fell asleep leaning her head on Emily’s shoulder, an arm wrapped around her torso, and Emily held the the forearm spread across her own stomach. She shut her eyes and subconsciously tuned out every sound around her, focusing on the girl clinging to her side.

When the plane landed, she had to wake JJ up so they could go home ~~separately~~. She didn’t even bother going into the bullpen, heading straight home to fix herself a cup of tea, and try to drown the other woman out of her head. After a while, sitting in her couch, thighs clamped up to her chest, head laying sideways on her knees, dried tears spread across her face, her eyes were shut, nearly giving into exhaustion. Not only physical exhaustion— the case had been a tough one on all of them, staying over a week in a crowded police station, filled with officers and people, _unwanted_ people— but also emotional exhaustion— any, and every thought of JJ. 

She let her mind wander off to the other woman, as she started to fall asleep at the far end corner of her couch, a thin, long, blanket spread around her back, tucked around her legs, keeping her warm. After a few hours, Emily was startled awake by loud knock on her door. She stumbled over, sleepily, looking over to her kitchen stove to check the time- _1:47 am_ -as she looked back to the door. She opened it to find JJ standing on the other side, cheeks flustered to a warm peach, her eyes swollen and red, her lips giving a cheap smile that practically called out for help, and dried tears were spreaded across her face. 

“Hey!” She said with a nervous chuckle, “got a sec?” Emily nodded, opening the door wider to let her in. She made her way to the kitchen to make some tea for them while JJ tried to make herself comfortable on the couch. She shifted between positions, but finally settled on sitting criss-cross applesauce on the couch, slightly hugging a pillow that was at the other end of the sofa. Emily retuned with their mugs and sat next to JJ. 

“What’s wrong, Jayje?” She cut through the small talk and went straight to point. 

“It’s Will...” she told her with apologetic eyes. “We got into th-this big argument, a-” she cut herself off to take a deep breath and calm her shaky voice before continuing “and he told me I should ‘take a walk’...” Emily shook her head and furrowed her bows, not understanding what her friend meant. 

“He applied for a different job...” She clarified, and it all made much more sense to Emily.   
“Where?” She risked asking, unsure if JJ was willing to answer. 

“In, umm...” she looked up, and sniffed, hesitating for a little and gathering her thoughts into sentences in her head. “In New York...” Emily put her hand on JJ’s back and rubbed it up and down, in the means of comfort. When JJ leaned into the touch, Emily brought her closer, laying JJ’s head on her lap, and running her fingers through her hair. JJ laid sideways on the couch, crying into Emily’s thighs. JJ ended up falling asleep moments before Emily, and sure, it was uncomfortable for her, but Emily didn’t mind- this a was JJ after all.

*********  
The sun beams reflected perfectly in Emily’s fair skin, and JJ stared in awe. She looked up at the sleeping woman and she looked so tired, _exhausted._ JJ lifter her arm, and ran her fingers through her cheeks, brushing the hairs out of her face. She sat up, and went to the bathroom to wash her face, and collect her thoughts. When she got back, Emily wasn’t asleep on the couch anymore, and a faint smell of coffee ran through JJ’s nose. She watched Emily stumble around grumpily, but the expression quickly faded once she locked eyes with JJ, and gave her a soft, sleepy smile. 

“Hey,” she said, “how’re you feeling?” There was a tone of concern in her voice, and JJ made her way over to lean against the counter, next to Emily. “Better, actually,” she started, “I need that... I haven’t cried that hard in a while...” she looked down in shame, and Emily moved closer, wrapping her arm around JJ. “Thank you!” She whispered, hoping Emily would hear, and she placed a soft kiss on JJ’s cheek, moving away to finish making their coffees. She grabbed two mugs and spoons, pouring in the beverage and adding sugar. Then, she grabbed two donuts from her kitchen counter, and put them on separate plates on the table. They sat in silence while they had breakfast, but it wasn’t an awkward silence, it was rather comforting actually. After a while, JJ’s phone rang, and she looked at Emily with a worried look. 

“I’ve got some clothes that don’t fit me anymore...” The brunette reassured her with a smile, and guided them into her bedroom, opening the drawer of a cabinet that was next to the door. She gave JJ a light blue button up, and a pantsuit that seemed to fit, and pointed to the bathroom, giving her privacy to change. As they drove together to work, and neither commented on the night before. Rossi and Hotch were already there, and after a while Morgan and Reid walked in together, hands in their pockets, slight smile on both their faces. _Must’ve been some movie..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to cut this chapter here so that wouldn’t be too long, but I’m already working on the next one, and I’m * **really** * exited to see how it’ll turn out! Hope you liked it, please comment what you liked and didn’t like, I’d love to hear you guy’s opinions!!! ♡☆★ *･ﾟ✧ヽ(ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉ


	4. The Very Pretty Spencer Reid, and his Flowery Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer showed Derek his super powers, what happens when Derek’s reaction is an unexpected one? Will things take a turn for worse or for better?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the inspiration I had for  Spencer’s dress

“Please say something.” he begged, furrowing his brows and fiddling with his hands.

“Wo- How d-“ Morgan stuttered and fell silent. Silence. Silence. Silence! Silence! SILENCE! It was quiet. Too quiet. Too damn quiet, and Spencer regrets everything. He regrets asking to come over. He regrets not insisting on them watching a movie. He regrets showing Derek his ~~burdens~~ powers. He regrets it all. _He hates me. No, but he’s probably scared of me. Please don’t be scared Derek. PLEASE! DON’T BE SCARED!_ He felt like he was screaming at Derek, but no sound was coming out. Instead he was just sitting there with a terrified look on his face, and a tear escaped his eye. 

Morgan took a second to organize his thoughts, and realized that this was terrifying for Spencer. _Spencer. My best friend. The one who’s always been there for me. Needs me this one time, and I’m gonna fall silent? What kind of friend does that?_ Derek felt so guilty for not being able to say anything. _SAY SOMETHING! HE’S CRYING, AND HE NEEDS YOU!_ He yelled at himself internally, but he couldn’t move a muscle. Morgan was no longer in control of his body, and he felt helpless. He leaned forward and cupped Spencer’s face, slowly enough to give him time to move away. _He feels like a freak for being different, and you’re gonna ignore that?_ Derek’s guilt complex grew with every second that passed by. 

He pulled Spencer’s face close to his, and placed a soft kiss on his lips. The kiss was fast, but sweet. Derek inched his face just far enough so he could look Spencer in the eye, searching for any sign of hatred, or remorse, for the kiss. Nothing. Spencer’s expression was unreadable, as tears kept steaming down his face, falling from his open, pleading eyes. 

“It’s ok, Spencer.” He tried to shift the focus back to Spencer’s abilities rather than the kiss, but it didn’t really work. “You are _not_ a freak!” He continued

“Why did you kiss me?” Spencer asked, staring at Derek with sad, and desperate eyes. Derek could tell Spencer was looking for an answer more in his face than in his words, and Derek gave it to him. He let a tear stream down his own cheeks and closed his eyes. 

“I-“ he sighed, “I don’t know, Spencer...” his voiced seemed shameful, _why? Did he not want to kiss me? Does he hate me for not pulling away? Was this some sort of trick?_ Spencer’s mind ran a mile a minute, as silent filled the room once again. “But if felt right...” Derek whispered, probably thinking to himself, not realizing he said it out loud. 

“Do- Do you hate me?” Spencer asked starring at the floor unable to to look the other man in the eyes. Derek sat up right, furrowed his brows and tilted his head, ever-so-slightly. 

“No!” He responded, slight tone of anger present in his voice. “I could never hate you!” He placed his hands on Spencer’s and inched just a little closer, _for comfort, of course_. Spencer looked up at him through his lashes, his head still tilted to the floor. “Listen, Spence, I don’t know what you’re going through. All I know I know is that I wanna be there for you, ok? If you let me...” he trailed off, intertwining their fingers on the floor, and Spencer moved closer to him, head facing up this time. He inched closer and closer, giving Derek enough time to pull away, but he didn’t. He placed his lips on Derek’s, and let the moment guide them. 

*********

“It’s been a while, how are you, Spencer?” A familiar voice rang through his ears. He was standing in a field of flowers. He spotted a little minty-green pathway to his right, and decided to follow it. With each step he took, the voice got louder, as if he was reaching the source of where that voice came from. 

“Umm... ok, I guess?” He answered, trying to get the voice to speak again, but it didn’t. He started to panic a little and opted for running instead of walking, assuming he’d get there faster. Only when he tripped, over his own two feet, did he realize the shoes he was wearing. They were black, round-tip, and a little strap went around his ankle, preventing it from slipping off his feet. The two inched-heels matched his long, soft, white dress, that fell just below his knees. He followed the path, more carefully this time, noticing the butterflies and tiny splendid fairywren following him. The bird chipped happily, and their colors, along with the cute butterflies, were very distracting. After a while, Spencer found himself too caught up playing with the flying animals, he completely forgot about the voice. 

“Spencer,” the voice returned calmly, “why did you do it?” He got up, off the field of flowers he’d wandered off to moments earlier, and walked back towards the path. He was confused, but he couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. 

“I’m sorry... I was just so scared, a-and I didn’t know what to do, and I- I trust Derek!” He stuttered, sitting back down at the side of the pathway, fiddling with the soft pink tulips that seemed to smile back at him. 

“Spencer.” He lifted his head, and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. This voice was different. Still familiar, but... different. Spencer couldn’t quite put his finger on it, as the voice kept calling his name. 

“Spencer. Spencer! SPENCER!”


	5. The Lovely Derek Morgan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is he worth it, Spencer?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty short, like the first one, but I liked the way it ended, so i hope y’all like it!
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** I recommend listening to Make It Rain by Ed Sheeran, because I was repeatedly listening to it while I was writing this chapter, so that’s the kind of vibes it gave me!
> 
> Ok, enjoy! :)

“Spencer. Spencer! SPENCER!” He was startled awake by a hand shaking his shoulders, and a concerned look on the other man’s face. “Are you ok?” He asked worriedly. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Spencer tried not to sound sleepy. “I everything ok? Did something happen? Did I hurt you?!” It was his turn to be concerned now, and Morgan shook his head ‘no’ at him. 

“No, nothing like that, pretty boy,” he brought his long sleeve to cover the palm of his hand. “It’s just...” he trailed off thinking of the right words. “You were crying in your sleep, baby, and I got concerned that’s all...” he said after a short period of silence had filled the room. 

“Sorry...” Spencer trailed off as he sat up, and noticed how sweaty his body was. “Is the air conditioner broken or something?” He asked, and Morgan was thankful the dim lighting from the window hid his panicky expression. 

“Uh, no...” once again, he stopped at a loss of words, although this time it was different. This time it was like he was coming up with an excuse, but Spencer was too sleepy to notice. “You were clamped up to me, and you were wrapped in the covers, so your body must’ve gotten really heated with that.” Derek explained, and it sounded convincing enough for Spencer not to say much. 

“Ok, well... I need to take a shower...” Spencer groaned, “do you have a shirt, or somethin’ I can borrow?” He asked shyly and sleepily. 

“Yeah, just gimme a sec,” Morgan said, and moved to his closet grabbing a plain, white, short sleeved, and Spencer wandered off to the bathroom. 

*********

_It’s calming, and peaceful. The water drips off your hands onto the floor of you boyfriend’s shower. Boyfriend? Is he your boyfriend? Maybe you’re reading too much into this, moving too fast? All these thoughts, are they worth it? Worth the pain and heart ache? What if he regrets it? What if you weren’t good enough? What if you’ll never be good enough for him? What if these “abilities” are just a means to an end? The end of a friendship, and possible relationship with the man in the other room? What if you become too much of a burden? A burden he didn’t ask for? Everything leaves. Even the water drops that shatter as they fall lifelessly upon your skin. It’s only a matter of time before he leaves too. You’re so helpless. Hopeless. Is it worth it? What if it was a mistake? What if he grows to hate you more than you already hate yourself? What if you don’t make it without him? Is it worth it? Is it even worth trying? You’ve always been strange, but this? This tops it off. This why he’ll leave. Along with everyone else. Along with Rossi, Garcia, Prentiss, Hotch, JJ... This is why they’ll leave you. All of them. So tell me... Is. It. Worth. It?_

Spencer sits on the shower floor, and holds his head in his hands, elbows on his knees that are clamped up to his chest. _The water burns your skin, but it’s worth it. It’s real. It’s not some dream—some fantasy—of a perfect family. Hotch and Rossi, the perfect overprotective parents. Garcia and JJ the sisters that’re always there. Prentiss the best friend you can complain to, and the movie nights where you cuddle on her couch, and end up having a breakdown. With her comforting you through every second, even when it turns into a panic attack. And Morgan— Derek— the perfect boyfriend. Are you gonna throw it all away? Or are they worth fighting for? Even if you lose yourself in the process..._

He muffled his cries onto his hands, and stayed in silent for a long, long time. Once he got out of the shower, Derek was already back asleep, looking so peaceful. _Is it worth it?_ The words kept repeating over, and over, in his head. _Is he worth it? Is Derek worth it?_ He moved to the other side of the bed, getting inside the covers, and watching Derek in awe as he slept. 

_Definitely! ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Compliments, comments, concerns, and constructive criticism are 100% welcome!!!


	6. The Very Nice, Very Lovely Derek Morgan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Spencer and Derek get to work, the team gets a case where an unsub seems to be targeting queer people.

He woke up to the sound of laughter next to him. Soon, the laughter turned into uncontrollable tears. 

“Spencer?” _Something’s wrong,_ Morgan thought to himself. Reid was sweaty, and tears streamed maniacally down his face. “Wake up!” He told him. No response. “Spencer. Spencer! SPENCER!” He screamed at the other man, and he finally shot up, awake.

*********

As he wandered of to the bathroom, Morgan picked up his phone that was charging upon his nightstand, and opened his notes.

_**Title:** Spencer_  
_**Text:** So far we know he can freeze and melt stuff with his bare hands. But I think he has the ability to manipulate his own body temperature as well and I don’t even think he’s aware of it! Maybe I shouldn’t tell him. It’s already scary as it is, there’s no need to make things worse. One problem at a time._

He shut off his phone, automatically locking the notes, and went back to sleep.

*********

He couldn’t go back to sleep after his shower. He just watched Derek. He seemed so peaceful. So calm. There were no worries. No problems. No super powers. No nothing. And in the dim lighting of the room, Spencer found himself staring at the older man, sleeping safe and sound, in front of him. 

_I wish it could always be like this  
Just you and me  
I wish I wasn’t such a burden  
And I wish I could set you free  
I wish there was no pain  
And we lived in a fairytale  
I wish your hands would caress  
My skin, so soft and pale  
I wish you were happy  
Truly, truly, happy  
And I wish our lives were nothing  
But a simple romantic movie  
I wish you’d see me  
So that I wouldn’t have to lie  
I wish you wouldn’t have thought of me  
As but a sweet pumpkin pie  
And, oh, how I wish I could hold you  
In my arms, oh so tight  
And I wish I could hold you  
Restlessly though the night_

He didn’t even realize he’d been staring all night, until Derek started to shift awake. In a panic, Spencer shut his eyes and pretended to be sleeping, as Derek turned to face him. 

“I know you’re awake, pretty boy!” He said sleepily. “I can tell, cuz you do that thing where your eye twitches when you’re pretending to be asleep.” He continued, but Spencer didn’t move. _Ok_ , Derek thought to himself, and sighed, moving closer to Reid, and wrapping and arm around him. 

“Guess I’ll have to kiss you awake, huh?” he said, in between the kisses he was placing all over Spencer’s cheeks. Sill, he go no reply. This went on for about five minutes, until Derek slowly stopped. Instead, he placed his head on Spencer’s chest, and played with the soft fabric of his shirt. “You know,” he started, “we’re gonna have to get up soon...” that earned him a sleepy grunt, from Spencer, in protest. 

“I don’t wanna get up!” He finally said, sleepily, ruining his cover. Derek chuckled lightly, as he pressed soft kisses on Spencer’s chest, over his shirt. Spencer wrapped an arm around Derek, the other bent next to his head, his hand under his pillow. The light started to shine through the window as Spencer felt himself falling asleep.

*********

“Hey pretty boy! Get up!” Derek was no longer in his arms, instead he was already dressed, and standing next to the bed, as he hit Spencer lightly with his pajama shirt. Spencer shifted to face the other side, waving Derek to go away. “C’mon, we’re gonna be late!” He lightly grabbed Spencer’s arm, lifting him up, so that he was seated on the bed. 

Spencer wabbled lightly, “I don’t wanna go to work!” He told the other man, in a sleepy and grumpy voice. “Can’t we just call in sick, or sometin’...” he suggested, and Derek laughed, sitting on the bed next to him. 

“No! No we can not!” Despite his words, Derek sounded sweet, and he couldn’t help the smile on his face, making Spencer smile back. “C’ mon, I think I have some clothes that don’t fit me anymore, you could borrow them.” he said, sliding off the bed, dragging a sleepy Reid along with him. 

“How long was I asleep?” Spencer yawned as he leaned against Derek for support. 

“About 2 hours...” He shrugged off. 

“2 HOURS?! WHY DIDN’T YOU WAKE ME UP?!” Spencer’s tone turned angry as stood up-right. 

“You looked so cute, I didn’t wanna disturb you!” Derek responded with a smile, and Spencer groaned. 

“I did not!” He protested and punched Morgan’s arm playfully. Derek chuckled and handed Spencer a plain, black button up, and black slacks. “Great! Now I’ll look like I’m going to a funeral...” he mumbled under his breath. 

“I could always give you one of my long sleeves, but I think the team’ll know...” Spencer just sighed, and took the the clothes. 

“Sorry,” he apologized, “I’m just a little grumpy before my coffee, I didn’t mean it...” he trailed off. 

“Yeah, I kinda got that,” he chuckled again, “imma make you some coffee!” He finished, and Spencer’s face lit up a smile that went from ear to ear. 

*********

They were holding hands when they got in the elevator, and once they were about to leave, Morgan took his hand back and shoved it in his pocket. 

“I just think—” he started, and the elevator doors opened. Spencer nodded at him in understanding, telling Derek he didn’t even need to finish his sentence. 

JJ waved Spencer over to her desk, as soon as Morgan left his side. He walked hesitantly towards her, looking around for any of distraction. 

“So.. how’d it go?” She asked with a grin. “Did you guys _talk_?” She emphasized as he sat on her desk. 

“Yeah...” he said smiling at the floor. “Yes we did...” 

“You really like him don’t you?” She asked, her tone shifting from playful to fondness, and he shook his head up and down. 

“Nice shirt!” He attempted to change the subject, and it worked. 

“Wha- huh?” She stuttered, looking down. “Oh, yeah, it’s, umm, it’s nothing...” she tried to shrug off. 

“Oh, I don’t know...” he said with a skeptical tone. “I don’t think wearing your “co-worker’s” clothes is nothing.” he pressed.

“You’re one to talk!” She scoffed, and they both laughed. Hotch walked out of his office, and waved JJ over. 

“We got a case?” Spencer asked her. 

“I think so.” She said walking away. They all met in the conference room a few minutes later. Morgan brought Reid his second cup of coffee, and sat between him and Rossi at the table. JJ sat next to Emily, and Garcia walked in with the controller in her hand. 

Spencer brought the cup to lips and wicked a little at the contact, before starting to drink it. 

“How the hell are you able to drink that?!” Came an shocked voice from his side. “Seriously, I’ve had my coffee for a half an hour, and it burns my hands if I hold for more than ten seconds!” Emily continued. “And I just saw Morgan make that, so, how can you just drink it?!” She was angry, but not at him, at her coffee. Morgan noticed the panic start to appear on Reid’s face, as he looked at him for help. 

“I put a few ice cubes in it, maybe you didn’t notice it...” He covered for Spencer, and notice his expression start to relax, and nodded, silently thanking him. 

“Ok, settle down, Garcia!” Hotch interrupted their conversation, waving at Penelope to start. 

“Yes sir!” She said playfully, “Three bodies have been found in Provo, Utah. Jamie Lakewood, our first victim, was found by her girlfriend when she got home.” 

“Girlfriend?” Spencer asked furrowing his eyebrows. “Were the other two queer?” He asked 

“Yes, Charlie Isabel Williams, the second victim, was intersex, and pansexual, and John Martins, our last victim was bisexual, and had a boyfriend, which was also the one who found his body...” she trailed off. 

“Do we know the cause of death?” JJ asked softly, snapping Garcia out of her thoughts.

“Huh? Well, they had all been stabbed twice, but the COD was dehydration. Also, if you look in your tablets, you’ll see they were all missing their hearts. The PD asked us to take the case a few days ago, before the third body dropped.” She finished.

“Why are we only hearing about this now?” Rossi asked, shaking his head in confusion, and shifting his gaze back and forth between Garcia and pictures in front of him. 

“Well, with the amount of cases we get, it only made it to my desk this morning.” JJ interrupted. 

“Is there anything else we need to know about these victims?” Hotch asked, looking at Garcia. 

“All the victims had been missing for a week, and died within the first 72 hours of their capture.” She responded. 

“How long between each of the captures?” Prentiss asked.

“Two days, and the latest victim, was dumped yesterday.” Garcia answered.

“We need to get down there before our unsub chooses his next victim! Wheels up in 30!”


	7. The Friendly Emily Prentiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rides to the morgue and crime scene were full of emotion from our resident genius and favorite blonde.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m _so so so_ sorry I haven’t been updating, but it’s here!(finally!) it might be a little underwhelming tho:( I’m already halfway done with the next chapter, anyway so I’ll probably have it up by tomorrow, enjoy! :)

As they sit on the plane, going over the case, Garcia‘s voice is heard through the computer in front of them, giving them all —but Hotch— a jump scare. 

“Isn’t it funny, how with the right amount of turbulence, a plane could just fall out of the sky?” She says, before showing her face, and there was a huge grin spread across it, holding back a laugh. 

“You tryna give us a heat attack, baby girl?” Morgan asked, cutting Reid off before he even started rambling facts about plane crashes, as they all —again, but Hotch— try to catch their breaths. Rossi grins at Reid because of the high pitched scream he gave, but no one else seemed to notice, at least if they did, they didn’t mention. JJ dropped the arm that she had subconsciously spread in front of Emily, in protective mode, and Hotch told them to calm down again (like the dad he is) motioning to Garcia, for her to speak, and she did.

“The autopsy report came back for the first victim, and its _wild!_ ”she emphasized, “there were traces of alcohol, about a week old, in her system, but her blood was all messed up...” 

“Messed up how?” Spencer asked, furrowing his eyebrows. 

“Well, for one, she had this weird liquid mixed with it, like some new drug that no one’s ever heard of before, they couldn’t even find compounds that matched any part of it...” she trailed off and they all gave a confused look.

“What? Can you tell for how long it’s been there?” Spencer asked in confusion, and Derek shot him a look.

“Ah! See, this is where it gets interesting, and by interesting I mean weird, and by weird I mean frea—“ she was cut of by Hotch.

“Garcia” He simply said, and she apologized.

“Right, sorry. No, we can’t tell, for sure, how long it’s been there, but, we can say that it was going to start multiplying, and taking over...” 

Once again, they all stared at her in confusion.

“Wait, are you saying her blood was going to turn into this substance?” Reid asked, raising his eyebrows and she shook her head. 

“Do we know anything about the other two victims’s autopsies?” JJ asked, and Garcia shook her head again, but this time she moved it side to side instead of up and down, like she’d done for Reid.

“Ok, when we land, Reid, you and Prentiss go to morgue. JJ, you and and Morgan go to the latest crime scene, and Rossi and I will get set up at the station.” Hotch ordered and none objectified.

*********

There’s an awkward silence in the car, as JJ and Morgan drive to the most recent crime scene. JJ’s behind the steering wheel, with Morgan in the passenger seat, and when her voice breaks the quiet, he jumps slightly in his seat, startled at the sudden noise. 

“So...” she begins, “what’s up with Spence?” She asks, darting her eyes to him for a second, eyebrows furrowing, before turning back to the road. 

“Oh... it’s just- uh... it’s nothing...” he tries to excuse.

“Wha- it cant be nothing!” She says, skeptically. “C’mon, Morgan! I know something’s definitely up with him... please...” she pleads, giving him puppy eyes, and he sighs. 

“Fine... but you are not supposed to know this!” 

“Don’t you trust me?” She responded playfully. 

“God, Garcia’s gonna kill me if she finds out I told you first...” he whispers to himself. “Spencer came to my house last night, and...” he trailed off, remembering the events of the previous night. Remember what Spencer showed him. The fear spread across his face. The uncertainty lying beneath his words when Morgan fell silent. And what happened afterwards. Feeling the tip of Spencer’s fingers, freezingly dance across his skin, while their bodies sweat with heat. The perfect contrast. Just like his mocha skin, and Spencer’s pale one. Like his bulky frame, and Spencer’s skinny one. They were a perfect match, a perfect, _contradicting_ match.

“And...” JJ said, noticing his silence.

“We slept together...” maybe if he focused on that, he wouldn’t have to tell her about Spencer’s more... _private_ secret. “Just- whatever you do, don’t mention it until I’ve told Penelope, please!” He says, looking at her with raised brows. 

“Ha! I knew it!” She grinned wildly, “hell, he came to work in your clothes, for god’s sake!” She was practically screaming in happiness, by now, and Derek couldn’t help a smile of his own. He and JJ had been friends since forever, it seems. If he didn’t know any better, he’d consider them best friends. He could tell this made her really happy, she loved him, and Spencer, so it was only natural for her to be happy for them. 

“Ok, ok, settle down!” He said in between chuckles of his own. She kept mumbling about how she knew that Derek liked Spencer back, and they both had started laughing. “What about you, huh? Trouble in paradise got you running to the arms of Emily Prentiss, or something?” He said, growing a grin of his own. Her smile stared fading, however, and she cleared her throat, focusing her eyes back on the view in front of her. When Morgan noticed, he was quick to apologize.

“Shit, I’m sorry Jayje,” he put a hand on her shoulder sympathetically, “I didn’t know, is everything ok?” He asked, and she put her opposite hand on his, smiling sheepishly at him. 

“Yeah... it’s all good...” she knew he didn’t believe her, and she also knew he meant no harm, he would never mean any harm to her, but it was still a—very—fresh wound. 

“JJ-“ he was cut off by the woman next to him.

“Derek, please...” she said, as a tear escaped her eye. “Just— just please drop it!” She didn’t sound angry. No, she sounded—and looked—hurt. He rubbed his hand on her shoulder, and she leaned her head sideways, so that her cheeks were placed upon both their hands. He nodded, and gave her a simple ‘ok’ as they arrived at the crime scene.

*********

The drive to the morgue was calm, and Spencer and Emily sat in a comfortable silence, as they both swayed slightly side to side, to the jazz that was playing on the radio. It was comfortable, and welcoming. It’s been a while since Spencer and Emily have hung out— even though they weren’t really hanging out—just the two of them, and they both missed it. 

“Hey” she said softly, looking at him for a second, before turning her eyes back to the road. 

“Hey” he responded, mimicking her. 

“How are you?” She asked, “I mean really, I noticed you’ve been a little quiet during these past few weeks, is everything ok?” She clarified upon noticing his confused expression. He sighed nervously before answering. 

“Yeah, no- it’s- um... yeah, I’m good...” he knew he didn’t sound convincing, but he hoped she would drop it. Who was kidding, he knew Emily, probably better than anyone on the team, ok maybe not better than JJ, but JJ’s JJ. He knew she wasn’t gonna drop it until she got some answer, even if wasn’t the one she was looking for— as long as it wasn’t a lie. She could always tell when Spencer was lying. Even when she barely knew him at the time, Emily was the first one to notice something was up when he got addicted to dilaudid, she was always in his corner, and she knew he was always in hers. 

“C’mon Spence,” she nudged him in the arm, playfully, “we’ve known each other for years, you know you can tell me anything!” She pressed lightly... He sighed, and dropped his head for a second before lifting it back up.

“God, I wish I could tell you Em...” he trailed off, and she dropped her smile, noticing his pupils dilating, ever-so-slightly, and puddles of water starting to form around his eyes. “I really wish I could, but it’s just-“ he cut himself off to sniff, a tear escaping his eye, as he stared blankly at the ceiling of the black SUV. 

“I’m just not ready... Not yet.” He turned his head towards her, as he dropped it backwards onto the seat, and gave her a weak smile. She put a hand on his thigh, rubbing it up and down, in the means of comfort, and gave him a reassuring smile. 

“You know I’m here whenever you are, right?” She asked, and he nodded ‘yes’ in response. “I’m in your corner, Spence,” she continued, “I am, and always will be in you corner!” She flickered her eyes between him and the road, and he removed her hand from his thigh, and intertwined their fingers instead.

“I know...” he trailed off.

“Good!”


	8. The Confusing Killer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they try to get more into the unsub’s headspace, a new pice of evidence is revealed, and it might be just the thing they need.

“Agent Hotchner?” A woman in blue came up to them, to shake their hand. “So we meet again...” she chuckled.

“Unfortunately, it has to be under these circumstances...” Hotch responded, as they were lead to the same room they had been in just 2 month earlier, solving another case. They entered the familiar room, setting their files on the table, and turning their attention to the transparent board in the back of the room, where there were pictures and colorful index cards supported by little rectangles of clear tape on it. Each picture of a victim, and their names written below them, on the neon pieces of paper. Next to it was a map with three pins, marking at the body disposal sites.

“Do we know where the victims could have been abducted?” Hotch asked, looking back at the chief of police. He was met with a sad up and down nod.

“Never came home from a night out with their friends, who claimed to go to the same bar.” Hotch and Rossi furrowed their brows, before the chief continued, “the Angels and Devils, it’s a restaurant/bar in Rivergrove.” She clarified. 

“So we know where he’s getting his victims...” Rossi said flickering between Hotch and the board.

“He?” The chief asked, and they both turned to look at her, but she gave no time for them to answer. “How can you tell it’s a male? I mean, all the victims were between 21 and 22, they’ve got slim shape—“ she was cut off by Rossi’s defensive tone. 

“I meant ‘he’ the unsub, not specifically a male.” He said, waving his hands, “I apologize.” She nodded, and gave him a playful smile that told him _I’m just messing with you,_ as she left them to it.

“Just because she has a gun, doesn’t mean she’ll shoot you.” Hotch said, grinning at the scared look that had grown on Rossi’s face. They chuckled as the phone that was placed on the table, next to the, now open case files, rang.

*********

“You must be Dr. Reid? I’m Dr. Lee!” A young man cane up to them. He had black hair falling below his shoulders on ponytail behind his neck, and welcomed look on his face to match. He extended his hand to Spencer, but Emily took it instead. He looked a little confused, but chuckled. 

“He’s got a germ thing...” she said with a smile, raising the opposite hand to cover the side of her mouth, playfully. 

“So, we ran a few more tests aft—“ 

“Why’s the cut half healed?” Spencer cut off the doctor. 

“Remorse, maybe?” Prentiss supplied shaking her head, and crossing her arms. 

“That’s the thing. There was no evidence of the wound being cleaned, if it weren’t for the amount of blood loss, I’d say the wound was about 2 months old.” The ME told them, as they looked at their third victim’s corpse. 

“But couldn’t the blood loss be from the new substance in their system?” Reid said, staying up straight and looking at the other doctor in the eyes. 

“The substance we found was, in a way, overwriting the blood, but it was still there, it was just being taken over. And the stab wound cause her to “bleed” out, that substance included.” The ME explained.

“Do you have a sample I could look at?” Spencer asked.

“I’m afraid we can’t show you, Dr. Reid,” the Doctors said, giving him a look, as he moved to the other end of the room, to close the doors. He moved to to the closet closest to it, and took a vial from it. He closed the drawer, and moved next to agents. “It’s classified, only the doctors are able to see it, my apologies.” He said slipping the vial into Spencer’s bag, and re-opening the doors. 

“We understand.” Emily said, and the nodded at each other and the ME. 

“If you take a look at where the heart was removed, who ever did this, somewhat knew what they were doing.” The Doctor gestured around the whole in the victim’s chest. “There are a lot of hesitation marks,” he pointed to specific parts on the corpse’s skin, “but they used the right amount of force, for the others too! A sharp knife, angled just right, this was well executed, but... I don’t know, something’s off...” the ME frowned.

“Off? Off how?” Prentiss asked. 

“Well, all of the victim’s were killed professionally, but all of this hesitancy... professionals aren’t this soft on their victims” he elaborated. 

“There must be a personal connection, and if it’s with the other victims too, their paths had to have crossed at some point, or at least with the unsub.” Reid said, as he stepped away from them taking out his phone. Prentiss said their goodbyes to the doctor, and left with Spencer, heading back to station. 

*********

As they arrived at the victim’s house, Morgan and JJ were greeted by a handful of officers. 

“Agents Morgan, and Jareau.” Morgan said as they flashed their badges. They opened the door to a pool of blood on the couch, and someone wailing in the room next to them. They gave each other a look, and JJ left, walking towards the sound, while Morgan looked around at the crime scene in front of him. 

“Hello, I’m agent Jareau, I’m with the FBI.” JJ said to the man with tears in his eyes. He was sitting at the end of a bed, in what JJ assumed to be their bedroom. “Can I sit here?” She asked him, and he nodded, trying to calm himself down and wiping the tears off his face. She shot a look at the officer in the room, telling her _I got this,_ and the officer removed herself from the room with a nod and soft smile. 

“I’m Ajay,” he said with a shaky voice, “Johnny is—was—“ he broke crying once again. She put an around his shoulders, and pulled him close. 

“It’s ok, it’s gonna be ok...” she tried reassuring him. “Do you want to talk about him?” She asked. They weren’t expecting him to be there, but since he was, they wouldn’t mind trying to get some extra information. He nodded, and separated from her, sitting sideways, crossing his legs. 

“What was he like?” She asked, and there was such a gentle tone in her voice, so calm and understanding. 

“Kind.” He looked up, trying not to cry again. “No matter how depressed he got, he was never not kind. Everyone loved him, everyone at work, everyone at church, everyone that knew him... he was always so kind, and he could brighten anyone’s day, with a simple smile.” She gave him a soft smile of her own, and patted his shoulder. 

“So there was no one that would want to hurt him?” He nodded and she continued, “ok... did he seem, strange lately?” He got up quickly, placed a defensive look on his face. 

“No! No, he was fine. Nothing was wrong!” That same defensiveness reflecting on his tone. She raised her hands, getting off the bed. 

“Ok, ok! I believe you... it was just a question, I’m sorry it upset you.” She said, and he moved to the bag on the floor, shoving some clothes in it, tears streaming down his face once more. She knelt beside him. “Something happed, didn’t it?” She asked him, and he shook his head _yes_ at her. “Will you tell me?” He nodded _no_ at her this time, instead responding with: 

“But I can show you...” he told her, moving to open the drawer on the nightstand next to him. He pulled out a clear case with a CD in it, and handed it to her. “He sent me this—not Johnny, the k-“ he cut himself off, and she took the CD from his hand. 

“Why didn’t you give this to the police?” She asked him, furrowing her brows. 

“I was scared, I- I- I don’t know wha-“ he stuttered. She rubbed his back, comforting him, as he resumed crying while packing his stuff.

“Shhhh, it’s ok, you’re not in trouble! It’s ok...” she reassured him. They left the room a few minutes later, and the officer that was previously in the room, escorted Ajay out through the back door. 

“Morgan!” She said, waving the CD in the air, and he looked at her in confusion. “What did you find?” She asked him. 

“There was no signed of forced entry, and there isn’t that much blood, so he’s been dead for a while. What about you, what’s that?” He motioned to the transparent case on JJ’s hand.

“The unsub sent Ajay a CD, and he was too scared to give it to the police...” she told him as they entered the SUV they came in.

“We need to figure out what’s in there!” Derek said, slipping in the car keys. 

“And if the others also received one too...”


	9. The Sad, Sad, Killer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before they get the chance to look at the CDs sent by the unsub, Reid makes a connection that Morgan has trouble believing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is like over 2k words, and it ends in somewhat of a cliff hanger :| don’t worry, though, I’ll probably have the next chapter up by tomorrow, I’m having a _lot _of fun writing this, I’m back on my motivational shit y’all! :)  
>  Anyway... enjoy!__

“Garcia?” Hotch said to the phone on the table.

“Sir, I found something! So their alibis check out,” she told the two men at the other end of the line, ”we have security cameras of all of them leaving the bar without our victims, every time.” Rossi furrowed his eyebrows, but before he could say anything Garcia interrupted. “Oh, hold on, Reid’s calling, I’ll patch him in.” There was a clacking of keys before they heard Reid’s voice.

“Garcia, did our victims ever crossed paths?” He said automatically, not even waiting for a greeting. They noticed the slightly frustrated tone in his voice, but decided not to comment on it, then they heard two car doors closing, a jingle of car keys, and a motor started purring. 

“Good morning to you too, boy wonder,” she could practically hear Reid’s eye-roll and smirk, which she could only hope would mean he would stop being so grumpy. “Other than the fact that they visited the same bar the night our victims went missing, no— wait!” She sounded disappointed at first, but it was covered by surprise instead. “They all had gone to the this exact same place two month earlier—on the exact same night!” She said, and Prentiss asked which place.

“The Angels and Devils?” Rossi asked Garcia. 

“Yep, it’s a bar/restaurant, and they had gone to the restaurant two months ago, and the bar the night they disappeared.” She exclaimed. 

“Angels and Devils? Why does that sound vaguely familiar?” Prentiss asked, looking over at Reid, and noticing the realization spread across his face.

“We went there!” He said, in a panicked voice. “When we were working on a case here, two months ago, on the 17 of March, we went to have dinner!” he continued, looking between the brunette next to him, and the device on his hands, as they pulled up at their destination—which wasn’t too far from the corner’s they’d just left. 

“Did you say March 17? At night?” They heard Garcia over the phone. 

“Does that mean anything, Garcia?” Hotch asked. 

“That was the exact same day our victims went there for, drums please, dinner dates!” She said, as disappointment returned to her tone of voice. Reid stayed quiet as they hung up, and entered the station, making their way to Hotch and Rossi.

“Morgan and JJ are on their way,” Hotch told the agents as they re-entered the room with the clear board, and fancy-dressed officials. They always wore suits, and Spencer never really understood why. There was no need for a thick blazer, when a simple, soft cardigan would do just fine. But he couldn’t keep his mind focused on that. No, he was focused on something else, something he could only talk about with Der—

“Hey, pretty Boy, you ok? You’ve been awfully quiet the past, what?” His thoughts were interrupted by a hand being placed in his shoulders. A soft, warm, welcoming hand, that had been previously wrapped around his waist, as their bod—“thirty minutes? What’s going on, in the beautiful brain of yours?” His thought process interrupted once more, by the man of his affection sitting down next to him, dragging his hand down Spencer’s arm and wresting it on his thigh. 

Spencer didn’t even realized he’d been so quiet, starring at nothing in specific, but his thoughts were too loud in his head. His heart pounding against his chest. His hands sweaty in the arms of the chair— _wait, when did I sit down?_

“I’ve just been thinking about what Garcia said... we went to that exact same restaurant, on the exact same day as all of the victims.” He sounded so disappointed. “We were in the same room as them, for god’s sake, I should have recognized their faces—“ he was cut off by Derek, who had turned their chairs so they were facing each other. 

“No, no, no, no, no! Stop that right now! You had no way of knowing who these people were, Spence!” He said, rubbing Reid knee, trying to comfort him. _Everyone seems to think that works, for some reason,_ he thought to himself, as he remembered Emily doing just the same earlier, but I guess it works, because he relaxed under the touch both times. He looked out the window, noticing it was already getting dark outside. He sighed, and put his hand on Morgan’s. 

“I know, but... I can’t help but think... is it a coincidence?” He asked and Morgan furrows his brows in confusion. 

“We go to the same restaurant as them... there’s something wrong with th—“

“There is nothing wrong with you, baby!” The nickname rolled off his tongue naturally, and there was a slight angry under tone to Derek’s words, as he rubbed Spencer’s hand with his thumb. “nothing.” He whispered, bringing their hands up to his lips, and placing a soft kiss to Reid’s palm. Spencer looked around, to make sure no one saw them. 

“Where are the others?” He asked once he noticed the police station was only filled with half a dozen cops. 

“The unsub sent a video to the latest victim... and once we asked, the families of the first two had also recieved them, they’re taking a look at ‘em right now.” Derek said as they stood up and stared heading out of the room. Before they left, though, Spencer extended his hand to turn Morgan around, and gave him a slightly tight hug—which Derek didn’t hesitate to return, wrapping his arms around Spencer’s waist. They broke away quickly, and exited the room.

Everyone lifted their heads when they saw the door opening. Morgan and Reid heard a calm voice coming from the computer at the center of the desk. 

_“It’s ok! It’s ok, I promise— you’re going to be ok, shhhh. Don’t be scared, there’s nothing to be afraid of, no one can hurt you anymore, Jessie, no one can hurt you!”_ They heard the voice say, as they moved around the table, to stand next to the team. The screen turned to black, and the words _“Day 3- the final test”_ appeared in the center, in baby blue.

_“Good morning! I brought you some breakfast!” A man with short dark hair appeared in the frame, but his back was turned to the camera, so they couldn’t make out his face. He walked over to the bed with a sleeping girl lying on—someone they could identify as the first victim—Jamie Lakewood._

_“Who’s Jessie?” She said in a sleepy voice, sitting up right, as he sat at the end of the bed, and handed her a white paper bag. She opened it, removing a croissant, with dried melted cheese dripping off of it. She didn’t sound angry, or scared. Just.. tired._

_“Jessica was my best friend...” the man told her, as she took a bite out of her sandwich, a little bit of bacon peeking out at the bottom of the it. “She was the only person who was ever kind to me, really... she was just so... nice.” He trailed off for a second, “quite like you!” He said with a smile on his face._

_“What happened to her?” Jamie asked, she sounded a little blunt, but her voice was too low to tell._

_“Eat,” he sighed, “you’ll need your strength.” He said changing the subject quickly, as he stood up from his seat._

_“Wait!” She moved towards the end of the bed. “I’m sorry, I won’t ask about her anymore, just- please- don’t go!” Her voice pleading as she got up._

_“You promise?” He said, and somehow he was the one who sounded afraid. She nodded frantically, as they sat back down. The room was dark, no windows, no source of light, other then the flickering light on the nightstand. It wasn’t a dirty room, the walls were a minty shade of green, the bed was king sized, with white pillows and fitted sheet, and a pink cover with  
strawberries on all ends. _

_“What do I have to save my strength for?” She asked him, tentatively. Taking another bite of her-what they could only assume was-breakfast._

_“You’re not gonna like it...” he said, shaking his head._

_“You’ve been keeping me in a locked room, for-I don’t even know how long- and you won’t tell me why? Is this some sort of game? Why are you doing this to me?!” She still didn’t sound angry, but hurt this time. He shook his head, and put his hand on hers, and surprisingly, she didn’t flinch away._

_“Because...” he hesitated, removing his hand from hers. “I gave you a gift!” He told her, and a terrified expression grew on her face._

_“No-“ she whispered, and the only felling present on her voice was fear. “You did this to me?!” She got off the bed, and backed herself up, until she was against the wall. “Why? What did I ever do to you?” She asked._

_“You’re like Jessie!” He said with a calm smile. “You’re nice, even to those you don’t know, and I think it was time someone returned the favor!”_

_“I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS!” She yelled at him, fear turning to anger in a heart beat._

_“I know... but you deserve it! You’re always helping others, it’s about time someone helped you!” He didn’t seem the least bit scared. She got away from the wall and slowly made her way to him until she stood about 8 feet away from him._

_“You think you’re helping me?” It was more of a statement then a question, but he nodded either way. “I didn’t need your help, I didn’t need t-to be a burden!” She gestured to herself._

_“You’re not a burden!” He stood up and took her hands in his. “You’re a superhero!” He looked at her in the eyes, and a tear slipped down her cheeks._

_“Stay away from me!” She said, frantically backing herself away once more. “You don’t have to do that, please! Please don’t hurt me!” She pleaded._

_“I just want to show you that I’m like you,” he moved closer, as she backed herself onto a corner. “You can read minds...” he was in front of her, holding her up, as a tear slipped down his cheeks. “And I can heal people...” It was very sudden, and she was on the floor bleeding with the blink of an eye. She screamed in pain, and he dropped to his knees. He put his hands over where her green and blue long sleeved covered her stab wound, in her lower abdomen. There was a little yellow light, glowing between her stomach and his palms, and she wasn’t in pain anymore. She lifted her shirt to reveal a pool of blood, and a half healed scar. They got up, as a confused expression appeared on her facade._

_“You— Ho— Why—?” She stuttered, unable to form a sentence. She trips on her own two feet, catching herself on the bed, sitting on the floor in front of it. She stared down at where there had previously been a knife, and feed cuts to black._

“What the fuck did we just watch?” Emily asked, a confused expression-much like Jamie’s- splattered on her face. The first thing Morgan does is look at Reid, and he noticed the sudden panic in his voice, when he speaks to Derek.

“Morgan! Morgan!” He says, not taking his eyes off the screen, and repeatedly hitting Morgan’s arm with his palm. “I told you, Derek, I- I knew it!” He breathed quickly, as he slowly stared stepping away from the table, eyes still fixed on the computer. 

“Hey, hey! Look at me, Spencer, look at me!” Morgan interjected himself between Spencer and the device. “We’re gonna figure this out, ok, just- just look at me.”

“What’s he talking about Morgan? Knew what?” Hotch asked, moving closer to the pair. 

_“It wasn’t supposed to end like this”_ the same male voice came form the computer once more, and Hotch and Morgan snapped their heads back to it.

_The camera turned on, and he was lying over Jamie’s body, as she bled from about two inches above where she had been stabbed in the previous clip. He put his hand to the wound, and healed it once again. She groaned in pain, begging for water. He left the frame for a few seconds, returning to her with a glass of water._

_“Why would you do that?” He asked, his voice so shaky, anyone could tell he was crying. She kept asking for more water, as she sweat far too much to be normal. He left again, and when he came back she had passed out._

_“Jamie? Jamie, no no no no no, stay with me, please!” He checked her pulse, and dropped his head when he felt nothing. He cried hovering over her-now-lifeless corpse. He picked her up, laying her on the bed, and ran his fingers through her eyes, closing them. He turned around once he was off-camera, and an arm crossed over the camera before the feed cut off again._

They looked around at each other, to see their reaction, and everyone ended up staring at Spencer—who had tears in his eyes, and wasn’t even blinking. 

“Spencer...” Derek said in a voice as if he were approaching a loin, and the youngest agent broke contact with the screen to look at the man calling his name. He moved closer, folding his arms on Derek’s chest, hiding his face in the crook of his friend’s neck. Morgan wrapped his arms around Spencer’s torso and held him as he cried. 

“Please...” Spencer pulled away, to look Derek in the eyes. “Please tell me... tell me you won’t let that ha—“

“Never!” Derek city him off, bringing his hand up to cup Reid’s face. “I will never, ever let that happen to you, pretty boy!” He pressed a kiss to Spencer’s forehead, and looked around the room to their friends. 

“Where’s JJ?” Derek asked, noticing the blonde missing. They looked around, and Emily left the room, mumbling something about looking for her in the bathroom. 

“I’ll send the feed to Garcia, see if she can tell us of that was altered...” Hotch said, leaving the room, and Rossi walked after him, telling the boys how he’d forgotten to tell him something.

*********

As she entered the bathroom, Emily noticed only one stall was closed. 

“Jayje?” She asked, and she heard a sniff behind the locked door, but there was no actual answer. 

“JJ, I know you’re in there...” she stepped closer and heard the lock click open. The door opened in the slightest, revealing a red-faced JJ. She stepped out of the stall once Emily nodded at her, and fell in the arms of the brunette. 

“Are you scared? Is that why you’re crying?” She asked, rubbing the younger woman’s back. “It’s ok if you’re scared...” she reassured her. 

“I’m not scared—not because of what you might think...” she pulled away, dropping her head slightly, and looking up at Emily. 

“What do mean, Jayje?” The latter asked with a confused look. 

“Are _you_ scared? Not- not of the unsub, but... people like him... like Jamie?” She asked, and Emily took a step backwards, away from the blond in front of her

“Where is this coming from?” She asked, crossing her arms across her chest. JJ fully dropped her head, and closed her eyes, fiddling with her fingers.

“Please don’t be scared” she mumbled under her breath, when suddenly the water on one of the sinks behind them turned on. Then the one next to it, and the one next to that one. Emily jerked her head at the unexpected noise. She furrowed her brows, and looked back to JJ, who had tears streaming down her face once again. They stayed in silence as the water of sinks turned off, and Emily was as surprised as ever.


End file.
